Life

Life is full!
Life is good, but Life is Full!
Life could be better.......and, it could be much, much worse.
So, I will take it as I have it! :-)

I go through moments of feeling completely overwhelmed and that my schedule is far too packed, to moments of wondering if I am living life to my fullest capacity.

In this year, as I continue on my journey to find the rhythm of my authentic life, I know that I want to be intentional about my time and my schedule but not so structured that there isn't room for any spontaneity.

Today, I realized that several things are lined up to happen this year--

• I will graduate from my Advanced Coach training
• I will achieve my PCC standing with the International Coach Federation
• I will have a daughter graduate from High School and head off to college

Life is full!

Life is good!

Today, my daughter had a college interview

Abi interviewed at Wake Forest University today! WOW! 1--I can't believe that she is old enough to go to college (more, I can't believe that I am old enough to have a daughter that old!) 2--I can't believe she is considering WFU--it is expensive!!!!  3--WFU seems like a wonderful school....I hope all goes well!

As I sat in the WFU Welcome Center, waiting while Abi was in her interview, I reflected on my own college application process.  I knew exactly what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go and why I wanted to go there. I wanted to be a band and/or orchestra teacher, I wanted to go to Gardner Webb College because I could continue to study with my flute instructor--music was the only thing I was interested in.

I double-majored in Music Education K-12 and Flute Performance.  I graduated in 4 years and made it through my student teaching while realizing that I really didn't want to teach large classes of teenagers and spend every weekend with them at high school football and basketball games.  Not to mention all of the concerts to prepare.  I also realized that I was not competitive enough to make it in performance.

The funny thing is that now, I have a house with many music instruments--flute, piano, violin (Abi's), cello (Emma's), ukulele (Em's), djembe (Jay's, although I like to play it, too), guitar (mine) and the latest--an acoustic/electric bass (MINE)!  I still love music, but my career has nothing to do with those degrees!
I learned many life lessons and I benefited greatly and occasionally use music in my work, but that isn't my profession.

My hope is that Abi (and Emma, too) will follow their dreams and do what brings them great joy! Also, I hope that my parents do not feel like I wasted all of those music lessons that they paid for from the time I was a 2nd grader taking piano lessons.  I must tell them "Thank you!"

I must remember that Abi will find her path and that she will have much support on the journey, whether the path leads her to WFU or somewhere else!

Looking back at 2011 and forward to 2012

2011 was a year of great transition!  It began in somewhat of a "normal" manner, but by the end of March we knew that changes would be coming.
The church was struggling financially, Jay's parents agreed to move to NC, Walkerdance Ballet Studio and Ballet Theatre were sold, I was giving more and more work time to the Center for Congregational Health.  
In the months to come, HUCC would reduce the salary package for the pastors, Meme and Papa would move, Emma would finish MIddle School and start HS, Abi would start her final year of HS, apply for college & scholarships, I left my pastoral position at HUCC and went to work full-time with the Center, and we would all try to pretend that life was moving along in a "normal" way.  Well, CHANGE became the new normal.


WE SURVIVED!!!
We tried to plan and take things as they came, but even in the midst of working to adjust, change is not easy.  When much change is going on, every change feels bigger!  


In August we hit a long stretch of major chaos--the Center had asked me to join the staff starting on Aug. 1, but the Hospital system had not approved the job and had not hired me, therefore things felt a bit off and very complicated, once the hospital rolled the ball everything fell into place and I started my full-time work the last week of August.  
School started back with Abi starting her last year of HS and Emma starting her first year of HS.  First home football game on the first Friday night, and by Sunday evening the quarterback and many year classmate of Abi was on life support, and my teenagers had many questions about life and death and "Why?".  The students from the school were an amazing community and pulled together to support each other and Harry's family.  The school tried to function as if nothing had happened.  
The next week, Jay's dad fell and spent the night in the hospital.  We began to be frustrated that they had not been able to move yet.  Jay's parents were supposed to move in mid- September, of course, their house wasn't ready, we were told it would happen by the end of October....they moved the week of Thanksgiving!
Also, during this time frame, the transmission on our "good" car went out.  A costly repair! We had made the decision just 6-8 weeks earlier to make a few more payments on the car and then trade it in....oh, well, now we must make even more payments....and we were without a car for a month.  We managed.  After getting the car back, we realized that we were not so comfortable with the reliability of the "good" car (good because it was new-er than the others), soon we settled into a pattern of our reliable car being a 20 year old Nissan Sentra with over 200,000 miles.  This realization pushed us to get a new car.  


The Fall, also brought with it rehearsals for the Nutcracker Ballet and my decision to continue working with costumes.  Again, our whole family participated, this year in a new location for rehearsals and performance.  
I continued to run, not as much as I had hoped, but most weeks I did meet my goal of 3 miles at least 3 times per week.  So, that was a good goal for me.  On Thanksgiving day we ran our 5K again, my time was actually worse this year! Go figure!  So, I am now working to decrease my time for next year's 5K....maybe there will be a 5K between now and then as well.
Meme and Papa moved on Friday before Thanksgiving, on Wed, we went to the beach to celebrate with the extended family.  Boxes are still not unpacked, but that is ok and will happen as they need what is in those boxes.
As we approached the Advent season, we began to realize that we would not have the time and energy to decorate our home to the extent that we usually do for Christmas, so we put up the tree decorated the mantle and the porch, and we moved into the holiday season trying to catch our breath!


A big high-light of 2011---Jay and I celebrated 20 years of being married, Dec. 28!  We managed to spend a whole day together just being together and enjoying each other's company!
On the last day of 2011 (yesterday), I decided that this New Year's Day, I am taking a different approach to my celebration.  Today, I am going to move at a relaxed pace--taking the time to enjoy every minute and if I am not enjoying it, I will change what I am doing.  My plan for today--share this update, go to church with my family, out to lunch with the teenagers, go for a long walk, knit something and cook dinner for my family and in-laws.  


In 2012, I will work toward--a healthier life (scheduling some over-due doctor's apptmts, and embracing a healthier pace to life), lessening the clutter and doing more of what brings me joy--whatever that may be!


Happy New Year to you!

Well....it's been a while...I am parenting teenagers!

I can happily say that I am not going backwards on my new year's resolutions...however, I am not leaping forward in huge bounds with those goals, but I am making baby steps. 

I have not managed to run 3 x per week (on the street), but I have gotten back to the gym.  Even when I am crunched for time, I have convinced myself that a fast run for 20 min. is better than not getting there at all! 

I am shifting my attitude on several things (more on that in the days to come), and realizing that often it is just the perspective that I use that blocks achieving my goals. 

Today, I am wondering about parenting teenagers.  I have 2!  Both are daughters!  They are wonderful kids--very smart, very considerate of others (outside of family, that is), compassionate and caring.  All of this is good!  But, sometimes, I do not know what to do with them. 

I am afraid that I have taught them to consider others before themselves; and to over-commit themselves to too many things; and to cave to high anxiety when they are afraid that they want get their work finished to their level of perfection.  I am, also, afraid that I haven't taught them enough about being responsible and reasonable, or taking care of what they have. 

For most of their lives, I have believed that if they know they are loved, that really is the most important thing.  I still believe that!  But, sometimes I wonder if I haven't taught them other essentials. 

Today has been a difficult day of too many projects to complete, too much homework, and stress from the pressure.  I have been fussed at and have fussed back.  (I am human!) We all have said things that we should not have.  But as we prepare for bed, I know that I am loved by them; and I hope they know that they are loved by me....I will tell them, just to be sure!

My daughters are wonderful!  I look at them and see smart, charming, witty, compassionate, caring, beautiful young women.  

Maybe I should just be thankful that they know my love is secure enough to survive a stressed anxiety outburst!

making progress in 2011

I have completed 2 unfinished knitting projects, that I discovered in the mess of my closet--a washcloth and a scarf.  Not big projects, but now they are finished. 
I ran/walked 3 miles yesterday, so I need to work 2 more of those in this week--i am thinking tomorrow and saturday!
No further progress to report at this time, but I am seeking ideas for knitted Christmas gifts (for Xmas 2011) that are appropriate for males and females, especially gifts that do not use huge amounts of yarn. 

Cleaned out my closet yesterday! Discovered I have LOTS of yarn... I think I will start working on next years christmas presents. Had brunch with good friends.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!
I am looking forward to many things this year--simplifying my household, taking better care of myself, and focusing on relationships.

Getting ready for the Thanksgiving 5K helped me to realize that when I want to do something, I can do it.

Some of my goals for the coming year:
(ok, it is funny....I have several goals inside of me, that I have been musing over for a few days, but I am finding it hard to put them "down on paper" and let you know what they are....ummmm, what does that say about these goals?   Is it fear of failure?  Fear that you will think I am crazy?  or what?  I believe it is that you will know what my goals are and then I will have to be more diligent.   Oh well, here goes--if you think I am crazy, you are probably right! :-)  If I do not succeed at my goals, it will not be for not trying, and that alone is success!  So, here they are:)

• To run at least 3 miles at least 3 times per week, and train for another 5K (soon), when I am settled into the 5K, then I will strive for a longer race (8K, 10K....not sure I want to go for the 1/2 marathon yet; that will be a part of my 6 mos. evaluation.)
• To lose some weight, at least 25 lbs.
• Help my daughters and husband realize how wonderful they are.--Not sure how to do this, but will be working on it.
• To set up my own business---yes, as clergy I am self-employed, but I want to take this a step further.  I am a wonderful coach and an amazing group facilitator, I want to put these to work for me.  I am certain there will be more of that on my blog in the coming weeks.
• Clean out my closet. (maybe today!)
• Clean out my attic. (before it gets too hot!)
• Have a small group of friends over at least once per month, and have a party at least once per quarter. 
• Find out more about what is going on in the lives of those around me.

I think that is enough to get me started!

Now, to wrap up some of the end of 2010--

• pictures of the butterfly costume (sorry I do not have very good ones, because once the costume was finishced I was so busy, I didn't have much time to pick up a camera!)

this is the "butterfly" with "Clara" and "Fritz"

This is the "butterfly" with "Marzipan" (I didn't make the Marzipan costume.)
Happy New year!