Life

Life is full!
Life is good, but Life is Full!
Life could be better.......and, it could be much, much worse.
So, I will take it as I have it! :-)

I go through moments of feeling completely overwhelmed and that my schedule is far too packed, to moments of wondering if I am living life to my fullest capacity.

In this year, as I continue on my journey to find the rhythm of my authentic life, I know that I want to be intentional about my time and my schedule but not so structured that there isn't room for any spontaneity.

Today, I realized that several things are lined up to happen this year--

• I will graduate from my Advanced Coach training
• I will achieve my PCC standing with the International Coach Federation
• I will have a daughter graduate from High School and head off to college

Life is full!

Life is good!

Today, my daughter had a college interview

Abi interviewed at Wake Forest University today! WOW! 1--I can't believe that she is old enough to go to college (more, I can't believe that I am old enough to have a daughter that old!) 2--I can't believe she is considering WFU--it is expensive!!!!  3--WFU seems like a wonderful school....I hope all goes well!

As I sat in the WFU Welcome Center, waiting while Abi was in her interview, I reflected on my own college application process.  I knew exactly what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go and why I wanted to go there. I wanted to be a band and/or orchestra teacher, I wanted to go to Gardner Webb College because I could continue to study with my flute instructor--music was the only thing I was interested in.

I double-majored in Music Education K-12 and Flute Performance.  I graduated in 4 years and made it through my student teaching while realizing that I really didn't want to teach large classes of teenagers and spend every weekend with them at high school football and basketball games.  Not to mention all of the concerts to prepare.  I also realized that I was not competitive enough to make it in performance.

The funny thing is that now, I have a house with many music instruments--flute, piano, violin (Abi's), cello (Emma's), ukulele (Em's), djembe (Jay's, although I like to play it, too), guitar (mine) and the latest--an acoustic/electric bass (MINE)!  I still love music, but my career has nothing to do with those degrees!
I learned many life lessons and I benefited greatly and occasionally use music in my work, but that isn't my profession.

My hope is that Abi (and Emma, too) will follow their dreams and do what brings them great joy! Also, I hope that my parents do not feel like I wasted all of those music lessons that they paid for from the time I was a 2nd grader taking piano lessons.  I must tell them "Thank you!"

I must remember that Abi will find her path and that she will have much support on the journey, whether the path leads her to WFU or somewhere else!

Looking back at 2011 and forward to 2012

2011 was a year of great transition!  It began in somewhat of a "normal" manner, but by the end of March we knew that changes would be coming.
The church was struggling financially, Jay's parents agreed to move to NC, Walkerdance Ballet Studio and Ballet Theatre were sold, I was giving more and more work time to the Center for Congregational Health.  
In the months to come, HUCC would reduce the salary package for the pastors, Meme and Papa would move, Emma would finish MIddle School and start HS, Abi would start her final year of HS, apply for college & scholarships, I left my pastoral position at HUCC and went to work full-time with the Center, and we would all try to pretend that life was moving along in a "normal" way.  Well, CHANGE became the new normal.


WE SURVIVED!!!
We tried to plan and take things as they came, but even in the midst of working to adjust, change is not easy.  When much change is going on, every change feels bigger!  


In August we hit a long stretch of major chaos--the Center had asked me to join the staff starting on Aug. 1, but the Hospital system had not approved the job and had not hired me, therefore things felt a bit off and very complicated, once the hospital rolled the ball everything fell into place and I started my full-time work the last week of August.  
School started back with Abi starting her last year of HS and Emma starting her first year of HS.  First home football game on the first Friday night, and by Sunday evening the quarterback and many year classmate of Abi was on life support, and my teenagers had many questions about life and death and "Why?".  The students from the school were an amazing community and pulled together to support each other and Harry's family.  The school tried to function as if nothing had happened.  
The next week, Jay's dad fell and spent the night in the hospital.  We began to be frustrated that they had not been able to move yet.  Jay's parents were supposed to move in mid- September, of course, their house wasn't ready, we were told it would happen by the end of October....they moved the week of Thanksgiving!
Also, during this time frame, the transmission on our "good" car went out.  A costly repair! We had made the decision just 6-8 weeks earlier to make a few more payments on the car and then trade it in....oh, well, now we must make even more payments....and we were without a car for a month.  We managed.  After getting the car back, we realized that we were not so comfortable with the reliability of the "good" car (good because it was new-er than the others), soon we settled into a pattern of our reliable car being a 20 year old Nissan Sentra with over 200,000 miles.  This realization pushed us to get a new car.  


The Fall, also brought with it rehearsals for the Nutcracker Ballet and my decision to continue working with costumes.  Again, our whole family participated, this year in a new location for rehearsals and performance.  
I continued to run, not as much as I had hoped, but most weeks I did meet my goal of 3 miles at least 3 times per week.  So, that was a good goal for me.  On Thanksgiving day we ran our 5K again, my time was actually worse this year! Go figure!  So, I am now working to decrease my time for next year's 5K....maybe there will be a 5K between now and then as well.
Meme and Papa moved on Friday before Thanksgiving, on Wed, we went to the beach to celebrate with the extended family.  Boxes are still not unpacked, but that is ok and will happen as they need what is in those boxes.
As we approached the Advent season, we began to realize that we would not have the time and energy to decorate our home to the extent that we usually do for Christmas, so we put up the tree decorated the mantle and the porch, and we moved into the holiday season trying to catch our breath!


A big high-light of 2011---Jay and I celebrated 20 years of being married, Dec. 28!  We managed to spend a whole day together just being together and enjoying each other's company!
On the last day of 2011 (yesterday), I decided that this New Year's Day, I am taking a different approach to my celebration.  Today, I am going to move at a relaxed pace--taking the time to enjoy every minute and if I am not enjoying it, I will change what I am doing.  My plan for today--share this update, go to church with my family, out to lunch with the teenagers, go for a long walk, knit something and cook dinner for my family and in-laws.  


In 2012, I will work toward--a healthier life (scheduling some over-due doctor's apptmts, and embracing a healthier pace to life), lessening the clutter and doing more of what brings me joy--whatever that may be!


Happy New Year to you!

Well....it's been a while...I am parenting teenagers!

I can happily say that I am not going backwards on my new year's resolutions...however, I am not leaping forward in huge bounds with those goals, but I am making baby steps. 

I have not managed to run 3 x per week (on the street), but I have gotten back to the gym.  Even when I am crunched for time, I have convinced myself that a fast run for 20 min. is better than not getting there at all! 

I am shifting my attitude on several things (more on that in the days to come), and realizing that often it is just the perspective that I use that blocks achieving my goals. 

Today, I am wondering about parenting teenagers.  I have 2!  Both are daughters!  They are wonderful kids--very smart, very considerate of others (outside of family, that is), compassionate and caring.  All of this is good!  But, sometimes, I do not know what to do with them. 

I am afraid that I have taught them to consider others before themselves; and to over-commit themselves to too many things; and to cave to high anxiety when they are afraid that they want get their work finished to their level of perfection.  I am, also, afraid that I haven't taught them enough about being responsible and reasonable, or taking care of what they have. 

For most of their lives, I have believed that if they know they are loved, that really is the most important thing.  I still believe that!  But, sometimes I wonder if I haven't taught them other essentials. 

Today has been a difficult day of too many projects to complete, too much homework, and stress from the pressure.  I have been fussed at and have fussed back.  (I am human!) We all have said things that we should not have.  But as we prepare for bed, I know that I am loved by them; and I hope they know that they are loved by me....I will tell them, just to be sure!

My daughters are wonderful!  I look at them and see smart, charming, witty, compassionate, caring, beautiful young women.  

Maybe I should just be thankful that they know my love is secure enough to survive a stressed anxiety outburst!

making progress in 2011

I have completed 2 unfinished knitting projects, that I discovered in the mess of my closet--a washcloth and a scarf.  Not big projects, but now they are finished. 
I ran/walked 3 miles yesterday, so I need to work 2 more of those in this week--i am thinking tomorrow and saturday!
No further progress to report at this time, but I am seeking ideas for knitted Christmas gifts (for Xmas 2011) that are appropriate for males and females, especially gifts that do not use huge amounts of yarn. 

Cleaned out my closet yesterday! Discovered I have LOTS of yarn... I think I will start working on next years christmas presents. Had brunch with good friends.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!
I am looking forward to many things this year--simplifying my household, taking better care of myself, and focusing on relationships.

Getting ready for the Thanksgiving 5K helped me to realize that when I want to do something, I can do it.

Some of my goals for the coming year:
(ok, it is funny....I have several goals inside of me, that I have been musing over for a few days, but I am finding it hard to put them "down on paper" and let you know what they are....ummmm, what does that say about these goals?   Is it fear of failure?  Fear that you will think I am crazy?  or what?  I believe it is that you will know what my goals are and then I will have to be more diligent.   Oh well, here goes--if you think I am crazy, you are probably right! :-)  If I do not succeed at my goals, it will not be for not trying, and that alone is success!  So, here they are:)

• To run at least 3 miles at least 3 times per week, and train for another 5K (soon), when I am settled into the 5K, then I will strive for a longer race (8K, 10K....not sure I want to go for the 1/2 marathon yet; that will be a part of my 6 mos. evaluation.)
• To lose some weight, at least 25 lbs.
• Help my daughters and husband realize how wonderful they are.--Not sure how to do this, but will be working on it.
• To set up my own business---yes, as clergy I am self-employed, but I want to take this a step further.  I am a wonderful coach and an amazing group facilitator, I want to put these to work for me.  I am certain there will be more of that on my blog in the coming weeks.
• Clean out my closet. (maybe today!)
• Clean out my attic. (before it gets too hot!)
• Have a small group of friends over at least once per month, and have a party at least once per quarter. 
• Find out more about what is going on in the lives of those around me.

I think that is enough to get me started!

Now, to wrap up some of the end of 2010--

• pictures of the butterfly costume (sorry I do not have very good ones, because once the costume was finishced I was so busy, I didn't have much time to pick up a camera!)

this is the "butterfly" with "Clara" and "Fritz"

This is the "butterfly" with "Marzipan" (I didn't make the Marzipan costume.)
Happy New year!


Finished in 37 min!!!

On th way to gallup!!!

The Kennetts and the Joneses are getting ready for a restful night before the big gallup.

3 days to go

My plan for this week was to run fast today, take it slow tomorrow, not run on Wednesday and do well in the 5K on Thursday.  Today, I didn't feel like it at all and I had a bad attitude to boot.  Just feeling kind of blah!  Decided I couldn't not run, so I headed out...ran a little, walked alot and decided just being out there was what was important.  Tomorrow, I am going to just do a slow run/walk again, take Wed. off and give it my all on Thursday.

I had a wonderful conversation with Emma today--we were talking about the 5K and I asked her how we are going to do this.  Her response, "I think we need to all just go at our own pace and we will see each other at the finish line."  I commented, "You are ok with that?"  Em said, "I am ok with that...the question is are you ok with that Mom?!"  I am ok with that, I was pleasantly surprised that she would be ok with that.  My baby is growing up and this is a place where she can be a little independent. 

The sewing has stalled....my plan is to do much of that tomorrow.

Now the update on the HP Club:
The Harry Potter Club has been meeting at Abi's school (she and some of her friends started the club) for about 6 weeks now--they do not meet every week, but regularly enough that the club has grown and they are making plans of "fun" things they can do together--quidditch games, yule ball, etc...

After a few weeks of being organized, the administration told them they could not be the Harry Potter club, they needed to be the Book Club.  The students understood that admin. thought the name might be offensive to some.  Abi assured her friends that her parents would have a word with administration.  We did, at a gathering at school that very evening.  The Prinicipal we spoke with, heard our concerns; said the students misunderstood the reason for the name change, admin. felt the students might be bullied if they were the HP Club.  Jay and I tried to help him understand that it was much less likely they would be bullied as the HP Club rather than the book club; he said he would take it back to administration.

He did, Administration stood by the original decision and the students called and asked me if I could talk with administration.  I have been--however, it took several tries to get through.  Basically, we have moved to the understanding that the school needs a written protocol on establishing clubs.  It does seem that the school cannot deny a student initiated group the privilege to meet on school grounds, even if they are not a recognized club of the school.

Tomorrow, I have a meeting with the principal....which only came about after my rather lengthy conversation with the Asst. superintendent for Secondary Education.  My child has been at this school for 2 1/2 years and I have requested meetings with the Prinicipal in the past, she finally has agreed.  Thank you asst. super.

Maybe an upate tomorrow.

3 miles in 34 min and 30 sec.

Oh No....2 days without running!

Tomorrow, I must get back on the run! Literally! In meetings all day on Wednesday and Pastoring and coaching all day today meant I did not get a chance to run yesterday or today. It is ok, because tomorrow is another day.

Another thing I dealt with today...the Harry Potter Club at Abi's school. The club has been denied club status due to the name Harry Potter. It all seems very silly, but the administration has suddenly become ridiculous about the whole thing. When I get a chance, I will fill you in and write up the whole story. Administration at WHS has not been overly impressive to me in the 2.5 years we have been at that school, but today they took away any vestiges of respect.

Will fill you in later! Maybe after my run tomorrow!

I finished the party boy suit, with the exception of some handstitching that needs to be done!
Whew!

Registered for the Gallup

We are now officially registered for the Gallup for the Gravy on Thanksgiving Day!
It was a tough weekend--no running on Saturday, forced by my 16 yo to run on Sunday evening--did a pitiful job, so just took it slow!

Yesterday (Monday), I came to the conclusion that it is ok not to run the whole 3 miles. I would like to run it all, but in the larger scheme of life, it just doesn't matter! So, my training took a little different turn yesterday---I ran as much as I could, then walked just to catch my breath and went back to running; did this more frequently and finished 3 miles in 35 min. and 54 seconds. Down a 1/2 minute from Friday!

Today it is raining! looking for an opening in the rain or either heading to the gym. I think running in the rain might actually be fun!

Sewing update---finished a design for the butterflies. Almost done with the party boy suit. Dew drops are haunting me--I just need to DO them! Delegated the 7 Spanish tops to another "sewer" (I know "seamstress" is probably the correct word to use, however--I like "sewer"! It looks like sewer--the place to where your toilets flush--but it means SOOOOOOO much more! :-)

Pictures:

Beginning of the "party boy suit".

Old tutus that will be "refreshed" to become beautiful butterflies!

Design idea for the butterflies, and the fabric to make it happen.

I didn't make it running the whole distance; however, ran farther and reduced my time to 36.5 min. That is for 3 miles.

later in the week and catching up

It is Friday! I am about to go for a 3 mile run in new shoes; they are very cushiony so I am not worried about them not feeling good.

I just discovered that I had not set up my blog to send me the comments by email, so, I thought no one had responded! msrevolution and Carrie--I am honored that you are reading and giving me encouragement!!

I have a busy day ahead, cutting, sewing, probably dying and appliqueing. Should be a fun day!

So far, I have not finished anything new on the costume front, but I have made lots of repairs....I have lots more to go!

Now, for the running update---I last posted on Tuesday morning--Tuesday evening, Emma and I went for a run in late afternoon--it got dark quickly and we were out running in dark clothing! Not a good idea! We made it home safely but it made me very aware of how unsafe we were being. Went to the fabric store yesterday (to purchase costume stuff) and bought some reflective tape to pin to our shirts!
I ran again on Wed.--I made it at least 2 of the 3 miles, but still not consecutively.
I am confident that today is the day that I make the full 3 miles RUNNING!!!! I think I can!!!! I think I Can!!!!! I believe I can!!!!! I believe I can!!!!!!! I know I can!!!!!! I know I can!!!!!!
I KNOW I CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, today and throughout the weekend, I am sending positive energy for my dear friend (and parishioner) Melissa Hobgood who is running a half-marathon this weekend! I am so proud of her!!!! I want to be like her when I grow up (she is way younger than me.....but still!).

I will check back in later with an update on the run and some pics from my sewing room (ok that is the dining room table!)

Day 9 OR 16 days to go

This morning, I went for a 3 mile run--ok, I walked part.....on the day when I run the entire 3 miles, there will be great celebrating going on. I was tired and didn't want to go, but I knew that I had to do it. The bad thing is, 3 miles really isn't that far. I did the full 3 miles in 38 minutes. Which isn't so bad given that I really did not want to do it today....but, having a goal is a good thing. When the girls are home from school, maybe we will do it again! and I can feel better about my day!

Monday, Day 8

Today is a beautiful day, and a day that I will not have an opportunity to run or exercise at all!



I started my day off with a wonderful coffee date with my dear friend and colleague, Nora. We solved most of the problem's with Church in the 21st century while we shared some wonderful coffee together! (I do wish it was that easy.)
Then, a couple of coaching related calls/sessions.
At HUCC, getting ready for Advent! Music & Worship will meet tonight and we will finalize plans for HUCC in worship during Advent and Christmas...ok, finalize is a strong word for adding more details to an outline that will continue to evolve until the particular worship service is over.

Awareness point for me--the sun was up at an earlier hour (because of the time change) i should have gone for a run before everyone else was up! Tomorrow, I will work on that.

Yesterday, Em shared with me how she and Lynda have worked together--run 30 seconds, walk 15 seconds or some similar variation; to which Em and I ran/walk together for 1/2 mile sections. It was great, and boosted my confidence in what I am able to do. Thank you Em for helping me out!

Kudos to my dear husband--who ran 3 miles in 33 min. this morning!!! Woohoo! Go Jay!!!!

Day 7 (Sunday)

3 mile walk/run with Jay and Em....Abi keeps managing not to participate!
It is not easy for me to exercise with other people!!!!
Everyone goes too fast or too slow.......what will I do when I start out at the actual 5 K event????

Also, I realize that, If I am on day 7--there is only 18 more days! YIKES!!!!!!!

I must get serious this week!

Days 5 & 6

Friday--I attempted the 3.1 mile run....I probably ran close to 2 of the 3 miles, but not consecutively. My new theory, if I can continue to lengthen the amount of time that I run and shorten the amount of time that I walk, eventually the running times will blend together and I will be running the whole time! I have a ways to go.

The fun thing is that I am "training" almost every day, and in the evenings we are doing a family run or run/walk. Not always the whole family, but most of us.

I didn't sew on Friday, like I had hoped. However, the family went to the grand opening of the Tanger Outlets in Mebane! We wanted an opportunity to meet Stacy London ("what not to wear"). We stood in line for approx. 1 hour, were about 5 people from getting pictures made with her....and they whisked her away to accomodate her very tight schedule!
Abi was horribly disappointed!!!! (we all were.)
We got a couple of pictures, but we didn't get to meet her. We did overhear her comments to folks, she was very positive and affirming of everyone she spoke to.

Day 6, Saturday--Nutcracker rehearsal for the girls, all day long. Nutcracker rehearsal for Jay all morning! Costume work for me, all day long. Although, I have wonderful people who work with me and are doing a beautiful job!

Wonderful conversation with a group of Nutcracker workers and cast, about a 5K to support the work of the theatre---next year.

Did not want to run or walk either one! However, Em wanted to go for a run, so I put on my clothes and off we went, Jay and Em went about 2 miles, I went one and came back home. Guess I am not in a very good mood, have been around too many people for too long.

Hope today is a better day!